


Nobody Will Notice

by L0uisStylins0n



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anorexia, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 21:14:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1872699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L0uisStylins0n/pseuds/L0uisStylins0n
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>OMG GUYS I'M SO SORRY. I CRIED SO MUCH WHEN I WROTE THIS. </p><p> </p><p>Warnings; Self harm, eating disorder (that kind of stuff). CHARACTER DEATH.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Same shit, different day. Louis chucked on a pair of dark jeans and a dark top from the pile that seemed to cover most of his room. Who needed that many clothes? 

''Louis, for the last time hurry up!'' Louis' mum yelled up the stairs. Louis didn't reply, he never did. He didn't speak to anyone, hardly looked at anyone. Thats how it had been recently. Ever since the bullying started. It was all a plan so people had a reason to pick on him, well Harry styles and his friends anyway. 

It happened about 4 and a half months ago, this girl would always walk behind Louis and smile at him. Louis thought she was perfect but he was totally wrong. Each day the girl would talk to him and Louis would reply but very quietly. He had no friends so the mystery girl talking to him was a suprise for Louis.

After 27 days of himself and the girl speaking -he counted- the girl made a move on him. She kissed him ever so sweetly. That night when Louis went home he was really proud of himself, he had his first kiss and he didn't mess up at all. He had it all planned out for the next day, he would ask her to be his girlfriend. Only the next day he found out it was a complete waste of time looking in the mirror for 2 and a half hours planning what to say. 

Louis left school as soon as the bell went like he always did. The only difference today is that the girl wasn't there. She didn't go his school so he couldn't ask anyone, he thought maybe she was a little late so he took a seat on a bench and waited for about 10 minutes. Only to found out waiting was a terrible idea. The girl came walking along as Louis was about to stand and talk to her he saw Harry Styles and his best friend Zayn Malik laugh with her. Louis was confused, how did this girl know them? 

''Chloe?'' Louis said confused, the girl looked up and laughed in Louis' face. 

''So, I see you've met my girlfriend Rosie.'' Harry said. Louis gulped and looked at 'Chloe' who was now supposedly Rosie. She looked completely different. Chloe was a pretty blonde girl whos hair was always tied in a pony tail with a minimal amount of make up and wore pretty dresses. 

Yet today she was a completely different person, her blonde hair was down with firy red ends, she had dark make-up on and wore tight leather leggings with a black crop top and a leather jacket.

''So your names not Chloe?'' Louis asked completely confused. 

The girl shook her head, ''I'm Rosie, I would say nice to meet you but I'd be lying and Y'know I've already met you.'' She laughed. Harry chuckled and kissed her on the lips. 

And thats how the bullying started. The next day when Louis went into school every stared and laughed at him. At Lunch Louis sat on his own at a dark corner at the back of the cafeteria. He ate slowly and his eyes scanned the room over and over again. Harry smirked as he saw Louis and dragged Zayn and his other friend Liam to sit on the table in-front of Louis. 

Louis wasn't supposed to hear, he could tell by the way Harry whispered to Liam but he did hear. Harry was updating Liam on what happened. It turned out this whole thing was a plan for an excuse for Harry to beat Louis up. 

Harry's girlfriend would kiss Louis and Harry would act like he didn't know and then act as if he found out so he could beat Louis up.

After school is the first time Harry hit him. 

The second time was the next day after second period. Louis was talking to his first period teacher so he left later than everyone else as he was walking to second period Harry jumped him. He punched him twice in the face and called him names. Fat. Worthless. Ugly. 

When you get told things too often you start to believe them. When you get called countless of times you start believing it. That's exactly what happened. After 3 weeks of Harry hitting him and calling him names, Louis stopped eating, he stopped talking to everyone even his own family. He sat up in his room with his head phones in and repeating fat, ugly and worthless to himself. Each time Louis' mum would give him food he would fake smile at her, take his food to his room, empty it into a plastic bag and the next day chuck it into the trash.

After two months or so you could tell Louis was loosing weight. You could see his ribs, his thighs were no longer thick. Each time Louis would even chew a piece of gum he would feel guilty and fat so he would make himself sick and feel much better. Harry had destroyed him, physically and emotionally. The 27th of February is the day well night Louis first cut. He thought if Harry was causing him pain why not do it himself. Louis locked himself in the bathroom and searched the cupboards until he found the razor. 

He stuffed his mouth with a towel so when he screamed nobody would be able to hear. One cut, two cuts and finally the third cut. Suprisingly Louis didn't scream, he didn't have the energy. He took the towel from mouth and wet it under the cold tap before carefully dabbing it over the fresh cuts. Once they were clean and only leaking a little blood Louis grabbed some tissues and wiped the little droplets of blood off the floor.

13th April was when it got really serious. Harry had noticed Louis' cuts. By now both of his arms were covered with cuts, both sides. Fresh ones and old ones. 

On the way home from school Louis recieved a text from his mum telling him she and the girls were staying with their aunt for the weekend. It was about an hour away. She also told Louis that their neighbour would check up on him each day.

When Louis got home he sat on the sofa, it was silent. No noise of people talking, no tv. Complete silence. 

Suddenly Louis broke down, he sobbed. 

It wasn't fair. Why him? Life was never perfect for anyone but it just had to be Louis that Harry had to hate. What was wrong with him? Why not somebody else?

Louis had his plan. Nobody was miss him. Nobody cared for him. Nobody was notice if he was gone. He headed to the kitchen and grabbed loads of chocolate, crips and fizzy drink and carried it to the living room. He then made another trip to the kitchen and opened up a cupboard. He found what he was looking for. He grabbed the bottle of vodka and searched another cupboard. Louis grabbed three different boxes of tablets and took them to the living room along with the bottle of vodka.

First Louis opened up some crisps with a can of coke. 3 packets of crisp, 2 chocolate bars and 1 can of coke later Louis felt terrible. He felt guiltly, he had eaten loads of crap and probably had put on weight. But Louis didn't care, he was going now. He was going to heaven, he was gonna stop getting bullied he was going to rest. Louis made a promise to himself to look down on his mum and sisters and make sure he protected them no matter what.

Louis opened the first box of tablets. 

Three pills. Three gulps of Vodka.

Louis opened the second box of tablets.

Three pills. Three gulps of Vodka. 

By this point Louis' vision started to blur. He felt sick. He couldn't breath. 

He managed to open the last box of tablets and took 5 with 5 gulps of vodka.

Louis stood up and attempted to walk but he couldn't. He fell flat on his face. His eyes remained open as the room spun around him. The last thing he remebered before he blacked out was his neighbour screaming and thrashing her arms about.

The next time Louis woke up he was laying in an uncomfortable bed in a room with white walls. He couldn't keep his eyes open, every time he tried they would just droop and close again. Louis couldn't breath, his chest felt tight and he couldn't breath.

''Louis if you can hear me I love you so much.'' Louis heard a voice but he couldn't tell who it was.

''I love you so much and I just wish you would talk to me more.'' The second time the voice spoke Louis could tell it was his mum. She was gripping onto his hand and had tears pouring down her cheeks. 

''I wish you would of spoke to me and told me why you got so thin, why you had to cut yourself. I wish you would just wake up and everything would be okay.'' She said as she sobbed, squeezing Louis' hand tighter. 

Louis' breaths slowed down and he gasped for air until he took his last breath. The monitor beside him beeped louder and nurses rushed to the room, pushing Jay out the way. She sobbed and screamed before she fell in a heap on the floor outside Louis' hospital room.

''I'm sorry for your loss mrs. We tried everything we could but -'' Before the nurse could finish Jay screamed and sobbed on the floor. Her son was gone and he was never coming back.

On monday morning the school called an assembly urgently for Louis' year group.

''So some of you may know why I called an assembly others not.'' The principal said. Everyone looked around confused.

''This weekend we lost one of our students. Louis Tomlinson committed suicide. He took his own life.'' The principal said. ''Louis was a good student, he may have been shy and quiet but he never failed to complete his work and amaze us.''

Harry's eyes widened and he looked at Zayn. ''What have I done.'' He mouthed.

''Now, Louis' mum has agreed to letting who wants to go to go. It is next Friday, for more details please come and see me sometime today or tomorrow as I have to let her know who will be going.'' Mr. Green said. ''Thank you all and please head to your second lesson.'' 

After the assembly Harry rushed to the toilet and threw up. He had made Louis kill himself. 

*

Louis' mums boyfriend along with 5 of Louis' cousins brought Louis' coffins in. One of Louis' favourite songs played and Louis' mum along with his sisters sobbed. 

Only about 10 people turned up from Louis' school. The rest of the people were Louis' family and family friends. Harry turned up. He had to. He made this happen.

It was time for Louis' mum to make a speach.

''Thank you everyone for coming. On the 13th of April heaven gained an angel. Louis was a sweet boy, he worked hard at school, he helped me through tough times. It was only about 5 months ago when everything changed. Louis spoke to no one and I started noticing that was loosing weight. He used to tell me everything but this time he didn't, he kept it to himself. I'll never know why he took his own life. He won't be here to see his sisters and brother grow up. He will be dearly missed.'' Jay said, she had tears streaming down her cheeks. 

Harry rushed out of the room, he couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand there and watch Louis' family crumbled in-front of him. Harry ran all the way home and ran to his bedroom locking the door.

Harry laid on his bed and sobbed. ''I'm so sorry.'' He sobbed louder and louder.

''Heaven gained an Angel''


	2. •PART 2•

It had been two months since Louis had taken his own life. Nothing had got better for his family, especially Louis' mum. She would cry herself to sleep every single night. 

It wasn't fair, people could bully others and still live their lives happily yet the one who gets bullied has to forced to kill themselves. Life isn't fair at all. 

Each day Harry would go to school, come home and stay in his room for the rest of the day, only going down for food. He hadn't eaten much. He hardly eats, when his mum makes him dinner he picks at it before it gets too cold to eat. Harry had changed since Louis died. He was quietly, didn't party, didn't smoke and done all of his homework.

Zayn had noticed the change in Harry and stopped talking to him. His girlfriend did the same thing. Harry was dying on the inside from what happened. And he knew deep down that it was his fault. 

Louis was sitting in the sky, looking over the life he had left behind. He saw that his sister Charlotte had to start going to therapy because she couldn't cope with the pain. His mum was in so much pain. He didn't want that to happen. He just wanted it to be quick so no one would notice. Louis felt sick to his stomach knowing he caused pain to someone else.

Louis didn't mean to cause anyone pain. He just wanted it all to be over. 

Each day he'd watch over his sisters making sure they were fine and weren't getting bullied. You could think of him as their guardian Angel. He also watched over his mum, making sure she was okay but she wasn't. She was emotionally unstable, she couldn't handle it. 

But Louis didn't only just watch over his family. He watched Harry too, he noticed the change in him. Louis watched how Harry sat in his room and stared blankly at the wall. Louis could see everything from up there.

Harry sat in his room. He had finished his homework and had nothing to do. "It's my fault." Harry mumbled to himself. 

Louis' family was coping as best as they could. Jay had to lock Louis' door because she would find herself going through his things at two in the morning. She wanted her baby boy back. She wanted his smiling face back in the house. She wanted to take back all the times she yelled at him and say I'm sorry but she can't anymore. Not when her son isn't here.

Louis sometimes wished he hadn't done what he done. He wished it could go back to what it was like before the bullying, before he met 'Chloe' or 'Rosie' whatever her real name was.

Louis would often watch his mum when she was alone. Jay would sit there and talk to Louis as if he was there, he was just not physically. 

"I love you Lou, I just wish you would've trusted me enough to come and tell me what was going on. I could have made whatever it was stop." Jay begun to sob. "I wish you were here Lou, I need you so much. I can't cope without you" 

Jay heard the key go in the door and Lottie walked in. She rushed to her mums side, "Whats wrong mum?" 

"I want Louis, I need him Lottie." Jay begun to sob, Lottie too. They hugged as they sobbed together.

"I'm here mum." Louis whispered.

Jay's ears perked up. "What is it mum?" Lottie asked. 

"Did you hear that?" She asked.

Lottie shook her head. "You have to let go mum. This isn't good for you. Or for us. He's gone mum." 

She cried. "I can't. He was my son. My son." 

Louis started crying. "I'm sorry mum."

Harry stood and went to the bathroom. He looked at his shaving razor. He flashed back to when he saw all the cuts on Louis' arm. He knew something was wrong but he didn't do anything. He picked it up slowly and held it tightly in his hand.

"It was my fault" Harry murmured to himself as he made one cut, wincing at the blood oozing from the open gash. 

"I made him do it" Harry told himself as he made the second cut. 

"I'm the one who's making his family suffer" Harry whispered as he made the third and final cut that night. 

Harry wrapped his arm up in bandage, making a hissing noise as the material came in contact with the fresh wounds. He walked back to his room and got under the covers, switching the light out but it was still light in the room considering it was only 7 o'clock. 

"Don't blame yourself" Louis whispered to Harry. Even though it was Harry's fault, Louis didn't want Harry to suffer the pain like he did. 

"What? Who said that?" Harry asked, his eyes wide.

"Me, Louis." Louis said.

"God I'm fucking loosing it." Harry said. He covered his ears. 

"You aren't loosing it. It really is me." Louis said.

"No...no you're dead and I made you die." Harry said. 

"Harry stop it. No one deserves to feel the pain I did. I want you to stop Harry." He said.

"I can't. It's my fault. Don't even tell me it's not my fault." He said as tears started pooling in his eyes. 

"Harry...please. It was just my time." Louis said trying to explain. 

"You were too young to die" Harry said sobbing. 

"Things happen for a reason Harry." Louis said. "I have to go now but promise me one thing?" 

"Anything" Harry said immediately. 

"Look after my sisters for me, I may be watching them but I can't do anything." Louis said sadly. 

"Of course"

And just like that Louis was gone. Harry felt insane, he just spoke to a ghost. The person who he made kill himself. 

Harry made a mental note to skip school tomorrow and to go to Louis' house.

Lottie didn't want to go to school. People were too happy there. She didn't want to hear laughter. Jay sat up and started getting ready for work when she neard the doorbell ring. She went down the stairs and answered the door. "Hello...who are you?" She asked the young man at the door. 

"I'm Harry." He said. 

"Hi Harry. What are you doing here if you don't mind me asking." She said.

"This is going to sound absurd and crazy. But I spoke to your son last night. He came to me and told me to watch and take care of you all." Harry explained.

Jay's jaw dropped. "No no. My son is dead. No."

"I know but I swear he spoke to me. He asked me to look after you all. To protect you." Harry said, examining the ladies shocked face. 

Jay didn't know what to say, she just stared at Harry.

"Look...I want to do this. For Louis." Harry explained. 

"He talked to me too. I heard him twice in the same day." She said.

"I thought I was hearing things but obviously not" Harry said. "I had a full conversation with him" 

"I just want him back you know, I miss him so much. I just wish he was here." Jay said.

Harry felt super guilty, he took her son away from her. He's the reason shes feeling like this. 

"Come in..." she opened the door wider.

Harry walked in hesitantly and looked around her home. "It's very beautiful."

"Thank you, Lou helped me decorate" Jay smiled at the memories. "I remember him trying to get the paint out of his hair for days" She chuckled. 

"He was a lovely kid, always working hard in school" Harry smiled. 

"So were you and Louis friends?" Jay asked. 

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean?" Jay asked curiously. 

"We never really spoke to be completely honest" Harry lied.

"Oh...well...he must've liked you." She said.

Harry shrugged. "Um...I guess..." he didn't have the heart to tell her.

"Louis always had friends. Always. I don't know what happened." Jay said.

Harry looked down sadly. "Yeah."

\- One year after Louis' death - 

Each day Harry visited Louis' family making sure they were Okay. He helped Jay whenever he could, wether it was making dinner or going grocery shopping. He had to make up for what he made Louis do. 

It was he 13th April 2014, the day everyone was dreading. It was one year Louis had been dead. Jay pulled her phone out and sent a text to Harry. 

\- come over at 7 we're lighting candles for Lou - 

Harry received the text and replied with - ok x- 

Previous that day Harry had gone to Louis' grave. He had put down some beautiful flowers and told Louis how sorry he was.

When it came to that time Harry made his way to Louis' house. He knocked on the door gently.

Jay answered. "Hi thank you for coming." 

Harry hugged her. "My pleasure." 

She let him in and he looked around. The living room was filled with pictures of Louis. Harry started getting teary eyed.

"Yeah...it hurts a lot." She whispered. 

"I miss him." Harry said.

Jay nods. "I know. Me too. We went to his grave today and someone left these beautiful flowers." 

Harry smiled. "I put them there." He said.

"Oh." Jay smiled, "Thank You. The girls aren't joining us today. They've gone to their aunts." 

Harry nodded. 

"Would you like a can of beer? I'm going to have one It was Louis' favourite alcoholic drink" Jay smiled, remembering all the times Louis thought he had been sneaky and snuck a beer out. 

"Yes please" Harry smiled. Harry sat on the sofa as Jay went to get the beer. 

"Thank you" Louis whispered into Harry's ear before he went as quick as he came. Harry decided not to tell Jay, it'd make her more upset. Jay returned with the cans of beer and they opened it, both taking a gulp. 

"I'd just like to say, Lou if your listening I love you and miss you loads. I'll never forget you." Jay said, tears trickling down her face.

Louis leaned down to her ear. "I love you mum. I miss you so much. I'm making a house for us up here. For all of us." 

Jay cried harder. "Thank you Lou." She said. She gulped more beer.

Harry but his lip and cried softly. He took more sips. "To Louis." He said holding the can out.

Jay met his can with hers. "To Louis." 

Louis smiled. "Cheers." He said. That night Louis sat with them and listened to his mum's stories of him. He laughed and there was no doubt in his mind that Harry and his mum could hear him.


End file.
